Most of all

Haven't felt the urge to write in awhile but, the need to put my heart on paper has arrived. It's was sparked by a Man that too believes I was made for him and he for I.

I have experienced love on all levels and to various degrees, this being the highest.

With past encounters having prepared and educated me on how to except and recipricat.

Even with all still to learn about this, I am willing to follow his lead.

His presence over powers all others but, allows me to see the lessons taught. Giving me the ability to not only acknowledge but, thank all before him. Because without them I would be able to envelop him in myself and hold strong to the spirited fire that is him.

Not only is he a God fearing Man but he is human enough to admit that he is no where near perfect which means he is perfect for me. He sees and embraces my flaws because without them he couldn't nor would he love me.

My heart inhales his love
Engulfed in its rage, its fury, its tenacity
Over come by its warm, its grace, it humility
It's abundance out weighs the heaviest circumstance

Why shouldn't I.......

Anything I ask for he gives willingly
I want for nothing when I'm in his presence
All he says is "Ok Baby" and in a matter of time its done
He calls me his wife
He believes I should dress as such because my actions show that I am
So for him all I say is "Ok Baby" and begin to change my outward appearance for him
And why shouldn't I....

The jig is up

Dear you,
It's been a long road and while I traveled I met a lot of people. Some didn't stay long and have faded with time, others go and return with not much impact but, there are a few that have made such an impression that even in their absence they are remembered. Weather it be good or bad they hold a place in my head, my heart or, both.
I say this to you because you are apart of the few. I see traces of you in my movements. I still feel you coursing your way through my veins. The smallest thing brings back memories that I wish I could forget. The time spent with you was tragic..... Not that every moment was bad but, that unfortunately the bad superseded the good. The body natural instinct is to fight off any invasion of its space. So I have come to the conclusion that you were meant to be apart of me. You have given me the tools needed to fight of any attack that comes my way but you have also made me question love and that is when I say.... The Jig is Up.... Because I will not let you contaminant me with doubt, suspicion and mistrust. Your actions my have caused me to second guess my decisions but, they will not cause me to taint something so pure that only Allah himself could craft it. So be aware that I recognise your tricks and they will not foul up what is meant for me.

Change

This moment in my life is a long time coming... And this is the very end of a journey that has changed me... I am not sure if for the best or the worst... While on my travels I have done things in a manner that has become second nature to me although I know they are wrong... My heart wants to go back to what's right but the actions I have become accustomed to are hard to break... My soul needs this change... It brings the calm, peace and, tranquility that I've been longing for... Am I ready... Every part of me says yes...

Missing me some him

His smell, his touch, the taste of his skin.... Yea I'm missing me some him. The look in his eyes, the curl of his lips when he smiles for me..... Still missing me some him.

Lately

It's been a lil min since I posted. Did something I wish would of been honest about. But HIM is true to his word.... I am his, no matter what. And because of that my feeling have transformed to the next level.

Dazed and Confused

Emotional, aggravated, mind wrapped up so tight that my headaches last for days. Bills, work, love, relations, expectations, so much to be done and never enough time. I'm so beyond this.....this bullshit is more than i want to tolerate but, have no choice. wanting more from life and out current situation but worried that if i push I'll end up with nothing. So I grin and bare the consistency so close to nil that time as gone by before we could really enjoy it. willing to except this status not because of loneliness but, a uniqueness never seen or experienced, looking to inhale the sweetness of the sweat from the skin of my heart. allowing myself to replay the tune of the soul i miss. Hoping I've made the some impact on him. So if never to meet again in this life, everyone proceeding will give us another chance.

My Friends

 the last few days have been spent with some of my best friends (yes i have been blessed with more than one). Friendship is like a African violet.... beautiful, worth having, if take care of will last a life time but, if neglected will whither away and die. so if you have at least one true blue, die hard, can go days weeks, months maybe years, without speaking or seeing you but can pick up like they've seen you every day, will hunt down and kill anyone that hurts you,after awhile of telling you not to run to that wall will watch you until you learn your lesson then help you clean the bloody nose, will threaten your husband and your mother if they shit on you, will beat a bitch under a Nissan friend hold on to the for dear life because the are hard to come by. big s/o to TRINA, NEVA, KISHA, NIKKI (the council) and JENNEL (the right hand)

FOOD FOR EVERYONES THOUGHT

How can you demand respect from some but not from others? Want others to follow the rules but not all? And if all break them only the selected get off without any penance. The hand isn't as important as the head and vice versa. All parts are needed to function and the behavior toward them should display such. You are only given what you deserve and what is deserving is shown in your actions. So don't ask of what you won't ask of others.