Change

This moment in my life is a long time coming... And this is the very end of a journey that has changed me... I am not sure if for the best or the worst... While on my travels I have done things in a manner that has become second nature to me although I know they are wrong... My heart wants to go back to what's right but the actions I have become accustomed to are hard to break... My soul needs this change... It brings the calm, peace and, tranquility that I've been longing for... Am I ready... Every part of me says yes...

Missing me some him

His smell, his touch, the taste of his skin.... Yea I'm missing me some him. The look in his eyes, the curl of his lips when he smiles for me..... Still missing me some him.

Lately

It's been a lil min since I posted. Did something I wish would of been honest about. But HIM is true to his word.... I am his, no matter what. And because of that my feeling have transformed to the next level.

Dazed and Confused

Emotional, aggravated, mind wrapped up so tight that my headaches last for days. Bills, work, love, relations, expectations, so much to be done and never enough time. I'm so beyond this.....this bullshit is more than i want to tolerate but, have no choice. wanting more from life and out current situation but worried that if i push I'll end up with nothing. So I grin and bare the consistency so close to nil that time as gone by before we could really enjoy it. willing to except this status not because of loneliness but, a uniqueness never seen or experienced, looking to inhale the sweetness of the sweat from the skin of my heart. allowing myself to replay the tune of the soul i miss. Hoping I've made the some impact on him. So if never to meet again in this life, everyone proceeding will give us another chance.

My Friends

 the last few days have been spent with some of my best friends (yes i have been blessed with more than one). Friendship is like a African violet.... beautiful, worth having, if take care of will last a life time but, if neglected will whither away and die. so if you have at least one true blue, die hard, can go days weeks, months maybe years, without speaking or seeing you but can pick up like they've seen you every day, will hunt down and kill anyone that hurts you,after awhile of telling you not to run to that wall will watch you until you learn your lesson then help you clean the bloody nose, will threaten your husband and your mother if they shit on you, will beat a bitch under a Nissan friend hold on to the for dear life because the are hard to come by. big s/o to TRINA, NEVA, KISHA, NIKKI (the council) and JENNEL (the right hand)

FOOD FOR EVERYONES THOUGHT

How can you demand respect from some but not from others? Want others to follow the rules but not all? And if all break them only the selected get off without any penance. The hand isn't as important as the head and vice versa. All parts are needed to function and the behavior toward them should display such. You are only given what you deserve and what is deserving is shown in your actions. So don't ask of what you won't ask of others.

Random thoughts

Random Thoughts I'm sitting thinking of you, wondering if you are thinking of me in the same fondness.

My skin is missing your touch, my mind is recalling your words. The way you make me smile and forget about madness of the world...... if just for a minute.

I worry if the love between us is enough to sustain us until we are alone.

All compliments are insignificant and plan next to a simple hello from you.

In a short spand of time you have acquired my heart. It went willingly without an ounce of struggle.

The Beginning and The End

Could never understand why me in the beginning and can't understand why not me in the end. You said you loved me and I made you happy in the beginning and you chose someone and something else in the end. I stood next to you in the beginning and I stand alone at the end. You said you weren't out to break me in the beginning but you tried you damnedest in the end. I held on so tight in the beginning only to reluctantly let go in the end. I built my world around you in the beginning only to sit and watch you destroy it in the end. You brought me comfort and security in the beginning and to hurt and scar me in the end. The tears i cried in the beginning surpassed the ones I cried in the end. Our end brought forth a new beginning. The end of us only means the beginning of something new with someone else. A journey to Mr.Wright is what i am on. Not that story book, fairytale Mr.Right but, the HIM that loves me without any conditions or boundaries. From beginning to end.  So i thank you for our beginning and our end.